Please...

<vent>

He's leaving. And it's not because he's being fired or anything either.

It's because he doesn't WANT to come back.

He's happy somewhere else... Were all the things he said about 'next year' just lies? I was looking forward to coming back from college at Christmas and being able to see him... but now I don't know when I'll ever be able to after this summer. I never really realized how much of an impact he'd made in my life until now... when I realize that I might not ever see him again.

Someone once made the analogy that I was like his pet. I laughed it off at the time. But now I see that they were absolutely right. I'm like his puppy. His frickin loyal, obedient puppy. I don't doubt that I would jump off a bridge if he told me to.

Which is very, very stupid.

It's also stupid that I let myself get so attached to one thing... even when I knew that it would never last, that it would end one day. But... I had kept my hopes up that I would be able to come back and see him again... that it wasn't really the end.

But it is now.

This isn't a vent about a crush going away. I never ever had a crush on him. It's more of a sick, creepy form of hero-worship. He was honestly the most influential person in my life... I frickin wrote poems about him in creative writing class.

Oh my God. That's creepy. Geez, why did I ever let him get into my life like that? I've known him for less than a year and he somehow managed to work his way into my head, whether he knew it or not. He used to scare the shit out of me. Why did I have to get over that? Why couldn't I just have stayed scared of him so that now it wouldn't be so damn hard?

I've only got one more chance to see him at all for sure... after that I don't know when I'll ever see him again. I really wish he would stay, but... I'm not about to force him to. If he's not happy that kinda takes away the point of it.

But... I just wish he could be happy here.

</vent>

Wow that felt good. Yeah, this is one of the rare, rare occasions in which you get vent art from me. I'm not looking for any sympathy, this was just something that I had to let off my chest.

No, I will not say who this was about.